I am not a huge fan of tattoos. I am a fan of other people's tattoos- I know Andrew has a bunch of cool ones and my buddy Ryan has loads of awesome work done all over him… but that's their thing. Tattoos are not my thing. Maybe it's the whole fear of needles thing I have.

I wanted one once. I was going to get something girly once in High school but I vouched out of it last minute. My reason for bailing was because I was sure I would have regretted it later on in my life. I have also seen enough tattoos weathered by child-birth and weight gain and they lack that coolness factor when you turn into a middle-aged turd (unless you keep it real to the day you die).

If you want to get one, sure- get one. Get 10. Get 20 though you should check and get a twinrix shot- hey one more needle isn't going to mean squat. Just follow my moms advice which is "You can do whatever it is you want as long as you play safe." I have made a "SAFTEY LIST" that you can use when you are deciding on getting inked.

• Choose a tattoo that speaks to who you are and where you are going in life. Just because all your friends have flaming skulls on their arms doesn't mean you have to make the same mistake.
  
• The following subjects should be avoided if you ever plan to get laid ever again in your life: Fast food, cartoons with large wangs, something tattooed over your belly button so it looks like an asshole of something, that face tarantula, sit-com celebrities, Simpson and Futurama characters and finally your ex's name or nickname anywhere around your junk. Come on.
  
• When choosing a tattoo artist, look at their tattoos. If you see anything from the above list on them, file them under "someone who desperately needs a session" (and I mean a doctor's session here) and find another artist.
  
• Girls should try and avoid getting tattoos around their boobs and gut. After your boyfriend dumps you and you hit that tub of ice cream like a deranged hippo your tat of roses is going to look more like a stretched pizza. Age happens. Bet on fatness to sit in after your 28. Also I wonder what goes thru mom's head when she's breastfeeding Jr from a nipple that has a deformed safety pin oozing all over it from mamma's punk days.
  
• Guys should avoid getting eyes tattooed on the back of their skulls. Why you want a tattoo so bad that you'll never get to see it is beyond me.
  

Get a tattoo that means something- like a lost loved one's name, a family crest or your kids names. That is cool. Showing the world how dedicated you are to your love is awesome and gets more points than the words "I'm AWESOME" across your back.

If you're not going to go full out sleeves or body, choose a spot you wouldn't mind showing to other people yet tasteful enough so you can hide it from your mom- unless you get a classy MOM tat on your wrist.