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Okay. I realized it's really hard to do things when you're sick- especially when moving around too much causes you to barf. Lying around in bed all day is the pits for someone who is ruthlessly known for "not knowing when to stop". There are ways you can get around doctors orders, though.

• Bedside Art Easel
  Currently the only easel I own is on location at the Dorland-Haight Gallery here in town. It made perfect sense to leave it there because of the Famers Market 3 months ago and I also hate the bloody thing because of how I acquired it and how much of a piece of crap it is. So instead of digging up the past and telling you a dumb story (as I normally do) I'll just tell you how one folding chair can have so many brilliant possibilities for art. That's right. If you turn a chair upside down it turns into a bedside easel. Try putting another chair the right side up and you can put your water and books and brushes for easy access. The bedside easel was developed by Henri Matisse about a billion years ago and works better than anything you can steal from aspiring want to be postmodern artists who suck. You don't even need to put your beside easel by the bed- you can be crafty and put it by your loveseat (like me) or chesterfield (Hello- it's a chesterfield for the love of Murphy… a couch is something trailer park hicks make babies on) so you can paint while watching the news feed on the CBC.
  
• Newspaper Colouring Book
  For this you need someone to give you a newspaper (try The Sun since most of their pictures are still black and white), ballpoint pens (any colour but black works the best) and a set of markers. I used to do this all the time when I was a small child and would spend hours under my dining room table colouring and drawing to my amusement. Hate reading about Britney Spears (I know I do)? Why don't you give her bald head a new winter Do? Just draw some lines coming out of her head for hair or put a few crack lines in there… maybe she stinks and you have to draw a few flies coming off her… maybe she needs to lose weight so you use a black marker to "fix" her ass by marking out all the unnecessary rolls. Word bubbles are fun as well. If you can't think of anything funny, look at the comics page and take a "one liner" (such as Garfield saying "Stuffed Again") and write that in? While you're at it, why not edit the comics page entirely and give it a dose of reality by marking out everything Garfield says/thinks. I like to draw sexy lingerie on politicians or movie stars I don't like to stick on the fridge for months of amusement.
  WARNING: Put away all your markers AFTER using them. Do not make the mistake of taking your medication and colouring your newspaper colouring book in bed. You'll pass out. You will roll around in bed. You will be covered in marker and look like that 16yearoldgirl who passed out on the floor of your kitchen during a party and someone wrote "FREE PARKING IN REAR" on her back with an arrow pointing to her ass (or worse).
  
• Make a Fort
  Using the cushions from the love seat, pillows, duct tape, folding chairs and blankets I can watch TV and it feels like camping. "I'm not sick- I am a wild and lusty adventurer discovering the untamed landscape of the postmodern Canadian frontier" I yell when someone comes in to give me my newspaper so I can scribble all over it. Its fun to invite people over to come and sit in your fort because they all have to get down on their knees and crawl in the side hole to discover your inner world of fun. It is good housekeeping by providing snacks for your visitors so make sure you have a thermos full of vegan hotdogs, Gorilla Munch and water bottles to offer them when they stop by. Hey, it's just like owning a condo and roughly the same size as one. If you want, get freaky and make fort love though doing so might mean the untimely doom of your dwelling thus rendering it unsellable on the market.
  
• World Championship Contests
  You need someone else to help you out for this one like a roommate or your cat. I like to have poking contests where I jab my opponent in the ribs and see how long I can get away doing this until they fight back or get up and leave. Once your opponent does something like yelling "You're nuts", "I hate you" or "You're cheating and this sucks" you automatically win. With Scoot (my cat) I like to see how long I can pet and tickle her before she gets moody and walks away (or bites me). If you think poking is too immature or people run away you can always have a world building contest using things nearby and make towers or conceptual art. If you get good call your local gallery and try selling your new bedside creations marking it as postmodernconceptualignorance though you might have to throw some red paint dripping all over it since its not postmodernconceptualignorance without uber layers of postmodernconceptualignorance red paint all over it. That shows how hardcore of a postmodernconceptualignorant artist you are and you don't even need to own a skateboard.