By Ann Kornuta

Remember when you were young and you would get that transformer or Barbie that looked just like the real thing though something was off? It looked like the real deal, it played like the real deal but it was called something different like “Transforming Man” or “Sally”- Barbie’s friend from Parkdale who’s on a shopping budget?

See, Canada used to have cheap discount store chains, such as Biway where mom would save a bundle off underwear, socks and cleaning products. Today they have been replaced with Dollar Stores (often their names have some sort of comical play of slang with the reference to “Loony” or “Toonie”). They often go hand in hand with the arrival of a Wal-Mart in a community. These Dollar stores are a plethora of bottomless bins of flip-flops, cheap toys and other “not so needed” forms of consumerism consumption.

Since there are only really 38 rich people left in the country that leaves the rest of the poor people who to demand a need for dollar stores. You get a real thrill of knowing that $20 can get you 10 items (or more depending on the store you go to) when your bamboozled with TV ads for PROPERTY IN CALGARY or PLASMA TVS or anything else real people can’t buy because ‘popcorn and beer’ comes first.

Dollar stores all share the common smell of cheap plastic from third world manufacturing countries and toxic glue made from an animal that possibly has a pouch or lack of a vertebra. They are also the only places that will still sell items you haven’t seen in years such as mountains of unsold Bob the Builder colouring books, Sailor Moon stickers and possibly Mr. T binders, if you’re lucky. They are also the only stores you will find that will sell toys with comical names like “SKULL FACE” with real jabbing motion or Virgin Mary night lights with the prongs coming out of her rear.

However, because the entire world is poor (despite those 38 rich people still kicking around but who cares about 38 people, really), dollar stores are a great way to live off a $20 weekly food budget if you don’t mind eating knock-knock off mac and cheese or cans of bizarrely strange meat. Hey, just because the box is smashed doesn’t mean the contents inside are damaged… or else they wouldn’t sell it right? O.o

The hands down best thing about the dollar stores are their toy section. Think of it as “The Land of Misfit Toys” with knock offs cleverly named to fool any 5 year old. The only problem is today’s kids are getting smarter and can notice the difference between a “Pocket Man” and a “Pokemon” (blame TV and the 38 rich people’s spoiled kids).

Dollar stores reflect the current economic status of our society. They scream “We don’t care as long as I spend money to feel good about myself”. The third world countries make our Transformers action figures yet cant buy them- and rightfully so because no one here in Canada relishes the thought of spending $20 for a toy when the dollar store offers the Transforming Man for a buck. Way to lower the standards of the quality of our products by encouraging society to spend more money on crap we don’t need which will eventually end up in some landfill or in the even a bin at a Goodwill.

Though, dollar stores are still the only place where I can find Jesus stickers to bung on coffee mugs and mailboxes.